Hello, why yes I’m writing to you. Of course I remember you. Ever since I met you, you have been with my thoughts, in my prayers, and on my heart. I keep thinking about what you said. I see the stoic look on your face as we first began to speak. We sat across the table from one another with only a cup of coffee between us, and you told me that you would never be worthy of love again. Never. There were no tears. There was not a trace of remorse or even a flinch to say you mistrusted your feelings. It was a cold, hard fact to you. You were resolved to this, and the deep ache of this painful decision you had made was buried deep within the guarded, concrete walls surrounding your precious, wilting heart. As we talked, you shared with me how you had always wanted to be loved. In fact, maybe it’s the only thing you ever really wanted. A stable, consistent home would’ve been nice, to play sports with all the kids you went to school with would’ve helped maybe, to get off the bus each day with the certainty of having a meal would’ve been welcomed. “But, it was love I really wanted,” you said placidly. “And the only kind of love I had was when my great-uncle would come around and give me treats so he could then treat me in ways that were so embarrassing… ” With a lengthy pause your eyes glanced down to your dirty, tattered converse, “you know what I mean?” You grit your teeth, “I’ll never forget the calligraphy-writing framed bible verse looming over my head as he forced a dirty little secret on me.”
No, I haven’t forgotten you, and I won’t. I don’t ever want to forget you, my precious friend. Want to know why? Because meeting you, was meeting something beyond valuable. How could I forget meeting something so rare, something so worthwhile, someone so beautiful? All the sparkley jewels and heaps of money in the world could not begin to compare with who you are. I’m so so sorry that the people in your life have not reflected that to you. I’m so sorry that you were treated like you were a burden, invaluable, and something to only be used for others pleasure. That was so wrong, and horrible. Their behavior and treatment of you was appalling, they were clearly blind, and maybe they were soul-sick. Because, my dear, they did not see what truth is. They did not see how amazing, and precious you are! As I look into your eyes… I peer into that beautiful soul of yours. The very image of God!
The truth is, my friend, you are perfectly and purposely made by a God who designed you for a purpose! You are not a mistake, you were NEVER a mistake. You were planned, and specifically, carefully created. “They” don’t get to say who you are or what your worth! Your Creator does, and He loves you more than we can imagine! You are loved! Oh Precious, grasp this, cling to this, believe this, walk in this… I did, and it has changed my life. Shame has no chains on me. Lies and harsh fears that say I’m unworthy of love have to leave in the face of my Father’s Perfect Love! Oh, so you say you’ve screwed up a lot? Me too. So, so much. Maybe your pillow alone feels the sobs speaking the fear that you will never feel the love from people you could never please. Precious, I know that hurts so deep! It can feel so scary and lonely. You think maybe those embarrassing, dark things that have happened to you now will always define you? That disgusting toxic shame has its ways of trying to wrap around and suffocate your heart.
Friend, please listen to me…. those things do not have any power over His love for you. His love covers all. Shame, lies, our imperfections… ALL nailed to a cross that wiped it all clean! Made right by a Father who pursues YOU fervently with a love that knows no end. You are whole, complete, and loved! Not because of what you’ve done, but because of what He did. Freedom is yours! You are so very loved! I pray that your heart, mind, and soul can grasp just a glimpse of how precious you are tonight! You are His beloved.
“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? …..And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:31-39 (NLT)
I’m so grateful for the honor of meeting you. May these words ring in your ears, and touch your heart, like you have touched mine forever.
One whose Father calls His Beloved 🙂
NOTE: I don’t share much from my experiences working at the pregnancy help center, muchly due to protecting confidentiality. This letter is not regarding any specific individual that we have met, however it does represent many, many types of stories that we have the privilege of listening to day in and day out. The prayer of our hearts that we continually cry out, is for all of our hearts to hear this from our Father. Seeing true value through His eyes.