let’s communicate for love’s sake

My tongue often reflects my heart.  The Bible tells me that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21).  My heart often is self-serving, and my tongue reflects that!  I often write it off, even to myself, with disguises and masks.  Recently, I’ve thought much about difficult conversations that are loving, and why they seem soo difficult to have. We seem to find it way easier with conflicting views to sit far off and throw lashes with our tongues to others who think like us on the topic, or whine and complain to our friends — rather than speaking face to face to HEAR their thoughts and SHARE our thoughts with true love to the one with whom we don’t see eye to eye.  Promoting unity involves honest, real conversations and authentically listening.  Putting my heart out there.  Caring more about true love for all than just “love” of my self.  Selfish-love that worries how I look to others, or critical that the other won’t care about my side of things (and certainly me not caring about their point of view), or worried about how I’ll be perceived…. which actually can’t be love…. cos all that’s fear based. There’s no fear in perfect love.


Whispering behind backs, blanket statements thrown out there targeted to make someone “hear” me without actually reaching out to them personally, indirect communication and using God to justify “me” and “my” agenda is manipulative… again there’s my fear clinging to a silly control that is really just an illusion, right?

We can’t control others.  And even if we could, would that be love?  I can’t make you hear me, and you can’t make me hear you.  But, true love is the bridge that is only capable of connecting us.  Unifying our hearts.

True love gives a patient ear.  A kind response.  Even if we disagree… love can be kind.

bridge 3

True love doesn’t brag, protect its ego, or become jealous.  It doesn’t have to win the argument.. it wants to win the trust of the other person.


True love doesn’t dishonor others.  (Ouch!)  It never shames or disgraces another.

bridge 2

True love isn’t angered, and it doesn’t make a list of all the wrongs to shake in the face of the other.

flowrers bridge.jpg

True loves gets excited to share truth!  It doesn’t let things go by that are “not” ok… True love reaches out to restore that which needs a new perspective and breathe new light and hope.  True love confronts when needed, with a beautiful aim to build up.


True love protects, hopes, keeps going, and trusts God – cos He’s the one actually in control.

True love never fails.  God’s love will never, ever fail us. 

So, you may be like me sometimes, and say… “This is impossible.  You don’t know my situations.  You don’t know how impossible this really is.”

And, you are right.  I don’t know your story, as you don’t know mine.  But, what I do know is that with God… this is possible.  I believe that with all my heart for you and for me.  And, how He shows you will be a miracle designed for you, and it will bring peace to situations that you right now feel like can never be resolved.  The first step is to trust Him.  Trust and obey.  As we know His love, and as we sink deeper and deeper in the vast, overwhelming love of our Father – We know love.  And, as we love others, the love becomes more and more real and known to us.  What a beautiful cycle to be in, right?

Divisiveness destroys, but love restores.  Last time I checked, my God was in the business of restoration.  It’s what He does.  Give it up to Him.  Be brave and kind when you speak up.  Be quiet and still to hear Him.  Reach out and talk to others about conflict and various perspectives.  I can’t know your story, unless you share it. Please be brave, it’s yours, and it’s meant to share. Let’s give each other the opportunity to put one another’s shoes on and walk around a bit.  Unity comes as God fuses us together as one.  One body that represents Him.  His way is vulnerable, honest love and connection… So let’s seek His ways.  Mine don’t always work the best.  😉

Bible References:  I Corinthians 13:4-8; 1 John 4



Yay!  Tsaladhe farmer’s market had nice fresh veggies!  Excited over my treasures, I carefully assembled a salad.  I chopped the lettuce neatly, the long, crisp leaves unfurled while the bright green color just shouted at me “vitamins for you my dear!”  My mom had the perfect way of slicing tomatoes… and honestly as a mom of five I often just chop them every which way and toss them in the salad bowl.  But today…. I chopped them just like my mom:  perfectly thin, oblong, bite size juicy tomatoes.  My ALL-TIME fav-O-rite avocadoes joined the bowl crew, accompanied by carrot wedges, green peppers, broccoli, and cauliflower pieces.  Cranberries and oven roasted almonds adorned the top of the masterpiece, and I think might have accidentally said something like… “Wa-Lah.  It is Vreadeee to Zeet” in my best French chef voice.

This was no ordinary salad, so out of the cupboard came my best, special, only-for-this-type-of-greenery-goodness wooden salad bowls.  It was complete, and I served it to my boys….

The air was still.  The birds sang gently in this moment of beauty. I might have heard a faint harp in the background even.  Then it was there:

“What are we eating for real food?”

“This IS real food.  What do you mean?”

“You know, real food, like a hot dog, or something..?”

A HOT DOG or something?  Happy, singing, rainbow train halts.  Smoke stops puffing.  Slowly backs all the way back to the station…..

Perspective.  It guides what we do.  How we think. What we eat. 🙂  Why we act.  How we view others. Often it greatly affects our mood and outlook.

I have a “bad” day because I spilled my latte, argue with a buddy, lose my wallet, have a slight headache from lack of said coffee, lose my keys, fuel my car whilst spilling it on my skirt making me stinky all day, lose my phone, and realize my amazon account was hacked and I have wrong charges pending..

But, let me take a look again:  I woke up breathing, with Wesley snuggled up beside me smiling –full of life and happy.  My sons and husband all enjoyed a nice breakfast together, laughing and joking about the baseball game the night before.  I fueled my car and didn’t have to worry about how I would pay for it today.  The sunrise was amazing, and the sunset was even more beautiful.  My mom called and we chatted, giggled and enjoyed thinking about my new twin nieces to soon-come.  A phone call encouraged me by reminding me how much my heavenly Father loves me, and cares about every little detail of my life.  I found my keys, phone, and wallet.  My mother-in-law picked up my boys from school and they sent me a text to tell me they were enjoying a yummy, delectable ice cream treat together.  I walked, talked, sang, ran, danced, laughed, and smiled all during my day.

And I need to stop there…. Because that’s only the beginning of that particular list, and you guys need to rest your eyes at some point methinks.

I reject my salad, because I’m too focused on looking at most everything from one angle.  How dare anything interrupt my perfect flow of life?  What is the perfect flow actually Joani? And more importantly… who presented you with the ascendancy to determine what is perfect and good for your life?  If everything was always rosey pink, how would I ever gain appreciation for the red… the blue… the yellow… the green… and even the magenta days?

If I continue to dwell on the hot dog as needed for dinner… I will  surely miss out on the enjoyment of the amazing scrumdiddlyumptious salad.

Perspective:  It might change how you enjoy what’s for dinner…. And more  😉


Mailman:  Beautiful day…

Elwood P. Dowd:  Oh, every day is a beautiful day.

~From one of my favorite movies – the 1950 “Harvey” starring Jimmy Stewart

reason to dance… hello miss grumpy pants

When my day is gloomy.. and issues around seem to cave in.  When I feel helpless… and worried about things I can’t fix anyways.  When I become frustrated… and impatient with my own failures.   It’s usually because I’m focusing the wrong way. Then His words remind me… don’t put your hope in happiness gained from the temporary — set your eyes on eternal joy… and all the other daily joys suddenly come into perspective.

A few days ago I went for a two-mile jog for the first time in a while… as I ran, it began to rain.  I thought, “Good golly!  I went for a jog and now it’s raining…”  Every step grew more heavy and cumbersome, as my attitude grew grumpier and grumpier.  “Why of all times in this Texas dry heat does it decide to rain now that I’ve gone for a short run?!?”  The joy of scenery, and the focus of obtaining better health  all sorta disappeared as I humphed along as Miss Grumpy Pants ran her course.   Then, I began to laugh at myself.  All the joy of my run was gone — not because of the rain — because I lost perspective for the entire purpose whilst focusing on the small rainfall. But then the rain reminded me of something my heart needed to remember:

“So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”  I Corinthians 4:17-18

That’s reason to dance my friend.  And I like reasons to dance.  🙂

Sounds like a silly and trite tale, huh?  Well, look a little deeper…

Who do you blame right now for wrong actions in your own life, cos they hurt you?

What keeps your mind captive because you don’t think you can surrender it… telling yourself you are too weak?

What is it that you allow to keep you burdened and worried?

Let’s not look at the rain…. look for the eternal reasons to dance.